What does the Bible say about oral sex?

Oral sex, also known as “cunnilingus” when performed on females and “fellatio” when performed on males, is not mentioned in the Bible. There are two primary questions that are asked in regards to oral sex: (1) “is oral sex a sin if done before marriage?” and (2) “is oral sex a sin if done within a marriage?” While the Bible does not specifically address either question, there are definitely biblical principles that apply.

Is oral sex a sin if done before or outside of marriage?
This question is becoming increasingly common as young people are told that “oral sex is not really sex,” and as oral sex is promoted as a safer (no risk of pregnancy, less risk of sexually transmitted diseases*) alternative to sexual intercourse. What does the Bible say? Ephesians 5:3 declares, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity…because these are improper for God’s holy people.” The biblical definition of “immorality” is “any form of sexual contact outside of marriage” (1 Corinthians 7:2). According to Hebrews 13:4, only the “marriage bed” is pure and undefiled. According to the Bible, sex is to be reserved for marriage. Period. So, yes, oral sex is a sin if done before or outside of marriage.

Is oral sex a sin if done within a marriage?
Many, perhaps most, Christian married couples have had this question. What makes it difficult is the fact that the Bible nowhere says what is allowed or disallowed sexually between a husband and wife, other than, of course, any sexual activity that involves another person (swapping, threesomes, etc.) or that involves lusting after another person (pornography). Outside of these two restrictions, the principle of “mutual consent” would seem to apply (1 Corinthians 7:5). While this text specifically deals with abstaining from sex/frequency of sex, “mutual consent” is a good concept to apply universally in regards to sex within marriage. Whatever is done, it should be fully agreed on between the husband and his wife. Neither spouse should be forced or coerced into doing something he/she is not completely comfortable with. If oral sex is done within the confines of marriage and in the spirit of mutual consent, there is not a biblical case for declaring it to be a sin.

In summary, oral sex before marriage is absolutely a sin. It is immoral. It is in no sense a biblically acceptable alternative to sexual intercourse for unmarried couples. Within the confines of marriage, oral sex is free from sin as long as there is mutual consent.

*While oral sex is safer than sexual intercourse in regards to sexually transmitted diseases, it is definitely not safe. Chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, HIV/AIDS, and other STDs can be transmitted through oral sex.

5 thoughts on “What does the Bible say about oral sex?

  1. Julie Gym says:

    Wow. Very well thought out. It take courage to address topics like this. Again, wow. 🙂 — Julie

    • Hello, Julie. How wondrous of you to comment. You seem shocked one might address such topic as “oral sex” from a Christian (biblical) perspective.
      Well, I stand in awe of you as well – in that you were the only one with the courage to comment. That has earned you my deepest respect.
      My hope is we can correspond openly, and freely, on many subjects of which we may choose. I would sincerely enjoy this very much…
      Blessings to you and yours;

      • Julie Gym says:

        Yes, I was shocked — pleasantly. Thank you for your very kind words, Mark. I would enjoy it also. I know it might sound weird to you, but what you are doing is cutting edge. I’m on for the ride.

      • I must admit, Julie, your response of “being pleasantly surprised,” has once again placed me in awe of you (smiling). In a most pleasant way, of course. You were the only christian woman to have openly confessed to have read it, let alone that it pleasantly surprised you. I must admit, my curiosity of you, and warm regards, are forever increasing.
        You are quite welcome for the kind words bestowed upon you, Julie. They are greatly deserved.
        Since we both would enjoy conversing in greater depth I see no reason why we should not. Do you? It seems we share a great deal in common. The church and it’s lack of acceptance of those as ourselves , cutting edge editorials, and much more.
        Yes, what I am trying to do is “cutting edge” and I am most appreciative of your recognition and acknowledgment of it. As I mentioned earlier on, “You were the only christian woman to have openly confessed to have read it, let alone that it pleasantly surprised you”; what then does this say about other women and Christendom generally? Like Ostriches, do they bury their heads in the sand?
        In being on the cutting edge new ground must be explored and given it’s essential value. Exercising any sexual feeling, with a christian or non-christian sexual partner (or submissive male counterpart; Or, whether it’s oral and anal sex.) can, and should be, gratifying. Yet, most of them feel “I cannot let anyone know I have these feelings – I will be shunned by my congregation, friends and family. It is more important, to me, to recognize two elements:
        1): Fulfilling our fantasies and desires to any degree, with a knowing and willing partner, is sustainable without your family, friends and congregation knowing. This is fully living the life, and desires, God has created in each of us;
        2): The God who created us knows our desires, shortcomings and faults. He is the same God, through His mercy, grace and kindness, who forgives.
        Yes, this is cutting edge stuff, Julie, and I am so please “you’re along for the ride.” Don’t be surprise though if one day I don’t ask you to drive…. smiling.
        Now, go have a great day……

      • Julie Gym says:

        In my experience with Christian women, especially those who are active with the church or in church leadership, have strict rules to follow. The rules are kind of unspoken, but if you go astray, you somehow get put back on track with intonations, silence and non-verbal cues like cautioning looks. Sexuality is out of the question as a topic of conversation. Homosexuality is an “abomination”. (I personally think ignorance, hate and violence are “abominations” — what a horrible word.) You must not use bad words. “Darn” is allowable. Must cover up. Must always look, sound and act pleasing. Must not rock the boat or challenge authority to lead in more Christ-like ways. As a woman, you must not appear as or more intelligent or passionate than the men around you. Oi, it’s exhausting trying to keep up…
        You want me to drive? Fine. I don’t believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong or ungodly. I think that the belief that two people must be married to have sex is too often a constrictive trap. Two people can be loyal to each other and deeply love and respect each other without need for a signed document sent through government offices, along with solemn promises to stay together until “death they do part”. I see and hear of too many relationships where marriages gives one partner a license to destroy the other ruthlessly while the world passively sits by, quoting Bible verses that keep the victimized partner drowning in a living hell. I also believe that sex must be handled with the utmost of care and responsibility — due to the myriad of possible consequences that can result from not being meticulous in our decisions. Issues of self-esteem, personal dignity, hygiene, diseases and pregnancy come to mind. Mutual consent needs to get top billing in any relationship. Sex is tricky, but a think that a general rule of thumb is to ensure that it’s accompanied by honesty, deep respect, and wisdom regarding possible consequences.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s